WARNING, THERE IS TMI HERE. SEX AND STUFF AND SEXUALITY AND BODY IMAGE! MAYBE TRIGGERS!
"Sounds like either sex-repulsion or possibly genophobia (fear of sexual things and genitals), but I’d be inclined towards sex-repulsion. And that’s totally okay! You can be sex-repulsed and bisexual, or sex-repulsed and asexual… whatever feels right to you!"
I’m not sure I have a fear of genitals, but I’m definitely afraid of sex, repulsed by sex (with guys anyways, maybe (but not tried) with girls too, sorry boyfriend), afraid of most sexual things and occasionally really off put by genitals… I’m also uncomfortable around naked people or being naked, even shirtless guys. Too much skin just creeps me out for some reason!
I still struggle all the time with who I am, label wise.
Am I panromantic asexual? My current label of choice, I guess.
Am I panromantic homosexual? I’ve never been with a girl, and I’m too shy to even consider it a possiblity, but I sometimes wonder if it’d be different with a girl; less scary, maybe fun! Plus; I can wear the strap-on, hehehe~
Am I not asexual or scared of sex at all, but just too scared and body dysmorphic to consider it? I do think I’m probably asexual (or secretly homosexual) but I do wonder about the sex fear part… Maybe I really just fear myself. Same with the naked people aversion stuff, I wonder if it’s just because it makes me think about my own self-hatred…
Also, why do I cry every time I do something within the categories of “sexual”? Is it an asexual thing, a fear or repulsion thing, a body dysmorphia thing, an anxiety or asperger’s thing? Even if I really enjoy it! I cry like a baby…
Sometimes I wish what sexual attraction felt like, so I could tell for sure if I have any…
Just some things to consider. I guess. Way too much info though ;P